2nd day of December 2010

Have u ever heard "feeling lonely in a crowded place?"

A friend told me that she envy me coz my perfect life... But hey no one life would be perfect ...

Despite that, Ive been surrounded by so many friends and I have a very big family.. But just some of them notice that I am alive or atleast notice that I am the same person like they are who need some urge to fill.

When the happiness came and shower me with everything let just say with wealthy and sometime healthy, they will LOVE spent their time with me.But once I got some problem even just a dot ( lol ) they will busy as hell...

So there, I have a very "wise thought", I dont want to get poor or sick. But after that I just can read who is the true friends of mine or who is my real family.

Since sometime, they asked me to understand about their problems and their needs, but there never be take and give ... I never hope about any kindness they will share with me in order to pay what I gave them.

But I just ( sometimes ) need their little help and that didnt related to wealthy factors.

People made mistake, so do I. And today I realize that I did it again ( oops ). But heck if  I dont made any mistake when I will learn about this, maybe I wont passed my exam ( lol ).

.....Just A Song.....

How Did I Fall In Love With You

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall, in love, with you? 

That was a song sang by Backstreet Boys... Okay I am not a big fan of them but just find out that this song has a very romantic lyrics and easy to listen.
First time came in mind when I heard this song was a cute guy with a boyish look, very innocent and yes I did remember those time when I was teen. I am not a fan of those mellow songs but sometimes I do like to hear them.

This song got me thinking that sometimes to make someone yours was the most difficult thing to do.

Whether he or she had said that they  love u even at the first sight. But the condition and time could make everything changes. Even there was a commitment made. Still those other factor could trigger a relationship went last.

Little Secret About My Exs ( SsssSSSsssttt )

When I wrote Exs on my title y'all will think that I will talk about my exs boy friend.... Isn't it ?

Well, I won't talking about that exs wright now, but more to a new term that I got this noon while I joined the mess... 

We will familiar when people mentioned about their exs bf, ex gf, ex wife, ex husband, ex employee, ex boss, ex student, ex teacher, ex colleagues and etc. But have u familiar when I mentioned ex Bestfriend ?

Well, I really surprised when I found myself thought about it earlier and finally I decided to wrote it down here.

Several times I had very nice relation with some people. And several times to I lost it, I don't know either I am the one who can not maintained it or theres any other reason. But, before I write everything here, I should have tell u that I have this attitude or behaviour that I will go everytime I found something annoying, such as people around me who loved to make something radiant If I may say. And that maybe the number 1 reason why I can't never have a good companion other than my hubby. 

Last time I checked I just ended a nice relation with my exses was few months ago. I have 4 good fellow. They are had very various character. Only one who really attached with me ( or I attached with her ), and the other 3 was so - so but more to " a friend  in need and a friend in dead " if u got what I mean. 

This 1 fellow have lot's of thing similar to me, even in acted, style, way of think. So in the past 3, 5 years I just thought that she and I very looked a like.

I found her in a trouble that the truth is showed me who is she but I never thought negative bout her.

Untill 1 day, she wanted to get something and she wanted to use people so her will could came true.And it just ended it up to my name, and she blame me for something wasn't my fault. And that really made me way so upset. Since that I just withdrawed myself from them especially her, untill now.

The conversation keep going, gossiping still continuing but I always put some gap between her. In my eyes she no longer an innocent girl of anything, smart kind of way. In my eyes she just a girl who tried to look innocent to get what she want. No matter if her wish will destroyed people around her including her bestfriends.

And here goes the secret I wanna told you about, she does like this guy but since she has a very huge ego and high criteria about guys, so she always make a bait. And the bait always her very good friend ( uh oh not me ), and she will get the information bout the guy directly from her. 

Honestly I don't like her attitude but that none of my bussiness. Untill it was happened to myself and I decided to end that relationship. 

Some people will think that I am not a very good friend, yea maybe am but I also a human who can not live with fussy people who love to take advantages from their own friend.

Cheers,

Sera

Being An Orphan Child

Being an orphan child sound hard and some people thought that it must be a very sad condition ever.

But since I was 13 which mean when I lost my dad after a year before my mum passed, it was some new condition for me. My journey started when I should have lived with my single aunt continued with I had to deal and lived with my step mum and her family.

I knew what it felt being dumped, told that I was a trouble maker and most but not very least treated like no one really needed my existence. I was told that I was a drug user and the most painful was the one who said it was my family which I used to trusted them much. And all of sudden many members of my family gave me a really bad image. But again, does that bother me ? well, yes a Bit... just some couple of time, then I forgot it everything they had done to me. But I was came up with the condition that I don't want to be near them all. So untill now, I won't came to any of their gathering even they had trying to be nice at me. Why I won't take their invitation ? coz it's all fake. And I don't like any camouflage in whatsoever reason. It just not wright or me, even 1 who made by family.

But all of that had made me strong and tough enough to face any problem. Even sometimes I can not resist the hugh emothion inside me.

My hubby told me many times that I don't know what it likes having family, how the connection that u built among ur family members. But, one thing I do know that I knew how it feels living alone and being abandoned by peoples around me.

Does that made me sad ? Fortunately the answer is a big NO.... u all know why? because I am very grateful with what God already gave me. Even some people told me that He is unfair coz He took my parents early but I do still grateful cause of that, maybe if my parents still here with me, I am still a spoil  litte brat. Maybe I do know what it likes being independent, and maybe I won't be like I am now.

Eventhough sometimes I have to deal with people which sometimes their needs was against my will. But that taught me how to appreciate others so does they will appreciate me. Well, I don't mean to make other bow at me. Beside living in harmony is really beautiful.

So being an orphan on ur early age wasn't bad enough. You just have to take all the positive and the good side. And acted that all the bad and negative side as a lesson which take u to the new role and created the great you.

Cheer's

Sera

Seriously?? U can't even do that at one time ?????

One thing I know, that life not always beautifull like it should be.

I asked myself, why do I life in the middle of lingering people. What does those people think, when they are working with the imbisile kind of way. Very slowly, lack of speed , less of thought, cant even do many work at one time. This kind of person really , I meant really bothering me at all time.

I wanted to yell out loud at time, Pleassse for once in your life time do something quickly and accurately... But again, since they got very less speed so, I am yelling again to an empty air.

Another thing that bothering me lately was a connection between man and woman. If  John Gray could decided that Man are from Mars and Woman are from Venus, then I should make other statement. That even both woman and man came from different planet but for some reason they meant to be together. No matter they separated by distance, age, character, family line, job type, religion, tribe or even personality, status. They could be together as long they take everything seriously.

Back to first paragraph which I wrote about seriousness, this thing is really important in every aspect of life. Either in personal side or even with job related.
Nowadays most people will appreciate person who capable those multitasking thing. Since everything run by online and the demand always rise according by time. So most people would like their employee work multitasking and fast.

So does in relationship, people nowadays not only looking for life partne who can cook or ironing their clothes, but also those who can be as a good teacher for their kids later, or as a work partner and even as secretary.

Again I won't blame myself because getting mad to people who can't do multitasking plus they who always working or do anythin in low speed. Because my demand is common nowadays and I am sure, pretty sure that my demand not only came from me but also came from other people who like working in smart, efisien and mostly love this multitasking thing..

Cheers,
Sera