BFF ????

Where should I have to begin....

Have u heard bout BFF ? well I got a confusing meaning bout this lately. Does BFF should be stand for Best Friend Forever or Be Fucked Forever?

I do love to communicate with others, love to hear their stories but also I love to do this story-telling thing ( I got to carried away sometimes ), and the result is I have few people who always there when I need to do this story-telling and they love to share their life with me.

But, somehow I dont know when it begun, they acted like they have their own story among them and Im the only one who doesnt know any  it ( is this a sign that I have to leave them ?? ).

Do not care actually , but it become bothering me when they suddenlly came out to the surface without their mask, ( well her actually Im talking about one of my friend here ).

She is an angel when the first years I knew her but bang suddenlly she just change after I knew her for around let just say 4 years. I can read her but I just dont care bout her lack of  morality. She's my friend anyway, but she started use me as a shield from any problems that will save her but on the other hand will help her to get what she wanted.

It was sucks I know, but what can I do... that already her habit and her character. I do not care anyway.

The question is ... should I continue this BFF thing ( sounds weird I know ) but Im a good person on the other hand tho... lol

Well, all I can say now just BFF just stand for Be Fucke Forever if I still trying to understand those kind of people and getting involve with them.... Plus there's no such thing called BFF which stand for Best Friend Forever. Kinda full of narcissism I know ( thats what one of my exs called me, lol ) But for now on I think I dont need any best friend at all both man or woman ( I got fucked by them several times already ).

Cheers,

Sera

Now

What happened with everybody lately... Everything went sooo weird a.k.a different. First thing first just thought maybe it caused by myself, or maybe something that appears on my surface.
Some are related with last year affair, so i can say it just the same shit and some are new.

Been dumped was one perfect sample. If you're been dumped by someone whom u hate it wont matter. But if u been dumped by someone whom u thought will always there when u need them that quite disappointing. Especially when u knew the reason that they had stabbed from your back. And u knew it after u feeling quilty almost every single day and every single minutes.

Got a thought,sometimes u take years to know people, like their character, habit, way of think but u just need few days to get over them. Well not almost everybody have the same thought like i did. But it works for me, and it really worth every penny .

A family stuff made me got emotional many times. This stuff way so annoying. I do prefer to life away from my family. I dont like the idea that mention family is everything. Coz they are way so disappointing me in every way.
I hate the condition that I do have bro and sister. They always want everything in their benefit but never care about mine.
And I do hate a statement said that family thing is always number 1 but how could I make them my priority if they are just acting like that everytime.Maybe I become a weird person but I dont mind. I hate being a person who always got the bad impression which made by those person who called their self as my own family or my closest person in life. Yes, they did help me and they keep that in mind that I have to pay back ( thats what i think ). I do really thanked them but if they have this way, it really bother me. Not like I dont want to pay all their kindness but I just cant deal with it. Untill one day I got a statement that a family relation could be broke cause I couldnt grant 1 of their wish.  Really embarassing isnt it? No? well yeah it does for me!!

I do love to laugh and get socialize with people even not always and people thought that I have my own exclusive group of friends. But the real is I dont. Just felt like I stand to a place where I dont belong to.

Now,I have more complicated life, more problems but also more challenge, more opportunities and I do sense some of luck try to grab me send from above....

Well, have a nice life to whom who had made my life miserable but also made my life more colorfull...

Cheers,
Sera